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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/30128823">You're my answer</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rainy_Summer17/pseuds/Rainy_Summer17'>Rainy_Summer17</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Monsta X soft stories [8]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Monsta X (Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - High School, Anal Sex, Angst, Childhood Friends, Childhood Memories, Coming Out, Conflict, Developing Relationship, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Eventual Smut, Falling In Love, Feelings, Feelings Realization, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Oral Sex, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Panic Attacks, Reunions, Smut, Teen Crush, Teenagers, Translation, Xenophobia, YouTube, Youtuber Lee Minhyuk (Monsta X), Youtuber Yoo Kihyun</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-03-19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-03-19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-16 02:54:31</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>9,753</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/30128823</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rainy_Summer17/pseuds/Rainy_Summer17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Kihyun was insecure. Minhyuk was lonely. It was naturally that the two boys met during high school, to never be separated again. Or almost not.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Lee Minhyuk/Yoo Kihyun</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Monsta X soft stories [8]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/2212287</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Why so lonely</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>The beginning.</p><p>[If it's not clear, Kihyun is half Korean-half japanese. He lived in Japan most of his life but travelled to korea every year so he knows it a bit, he just isn't very used to it]</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <b>"Don't worry big boy, it's going to be fine!"</b>
</p><p>
  <span>His mother repeated to him while sending him to the bus that would take him to his new school. Kihyun hardly believed in it, he had to admit it. He still had to get on board, taking up as little space as possible. The other people in the bus stared at him strangely and Kihyun didn't linger there, used to this kind of behavior.  He sat in the back, alone, thinking of the day ahead. Once again, he was going to be alone. He still was, he was getting used to it, but that still made it sad. The school was a thankless thing after all, and it would make you cry blood as much as possible. Perhaps he would suffer a few more teasing, he was almost sure of it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>How many times had he looked in the mirror, watching his eyes, his skin. Some features were Korean, he got them from his father, but it seemed so much that he was not. His eyes were smaller, his skin darker... He hated them, those features. Actually, Kihyun didn't hate them because they were ugly but hated that they were so apparent and that everyone would tease him for it. It was also his first time truly living here and going to school in Korea, as he lived in Japan all his life before.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Unfortunately, he couldn't erase those features, and he hoped that, for once, they wouldn't hurt him so much. He couldn't imagine how much this year would change his life.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Life sucks</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>The beginning part2.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <b>"Minhyuk, GET UP!"</b>
</p><p>
  <span>Minhyuk groaned, complying against his will. He didn't want to go to school that day, or any other day to be honest. Summer was truly not long enough, and he really wished it would last at least 6 months.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He then looked at the time: 8:30 a.m.  Hyungwon would kill him. He got up quickly and dressed, his head full of questions. As he looked at himself in the mirror, re-styling his blonde hair, he hoped the day would go well. He knew right away that he and Hyungwon would not be in the same class, and he feared the worst for his desk neighbor or the people in his class. The previous year, he had been glued to someone infamous and he dared to believe this year would turn out better.  He finished getting ready, gave his mother a last kiss and went down to join his friend.  They were not long in arriving in the crowded courtyard and Minhyuk's gaze fell on the bus which had just parked. He saw some new faces all over the place and he hoped he could make some new friends.  He no longer had time to linger there because Jooheon and Hyungwon took his hand to draw him inside this prison which would hold him for 10 months. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He let himself be carried away, really hoping for a better school year.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Breakthrough</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Let's thanks Mina.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>While Hyungwon was trying to find Jooheon in this large establishment, Minhyuk was waiting at their table while reading One Piece. The first four hours of class had gone so slowly, he felt as if time had actually stopped and that life was purposely torturing him. Fortunately, it was not worse than the previous year. His class wasn't a zoo for once. As Minhyuk tried to concentrate on the page of this treasure of literature that was One Piece, he was interrupted by a voice he knew only too well. He almost let out the loudest groan.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>"Minhyuk!" </b>
  <span>There was a young blond girl by his side now, and she sat in front of him. She looked lovely, as ever, but he felt that the conversation would go south easily.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>"Mina?" </b>
  <span>Lee Mina, his adorable but devilish little sister. He put his book down and looked at the smiling girl.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  
  <b>-Hyungwon and Jooheon aren't there?</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>-No, Hyungwon went to look for Jooheon like 20 minutes ago... What are you doing here?</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>"Just dropping to say hi and see how my favorite brother is doing!"</b>
  <span> Minhyuk was about to retort that, of course he was, he was her only brother; but she pinched his cheeks and squished them. The blond winced at the sensation.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>-If you want, I saw a boy alone too! You could go join him. He looks quite shy and he's kinda cute! As if out of your books!</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The older boy raised his eyebrows, trying to figure out what Mina was talking about.  Which book? Huh? </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  
  <b>"Yes, your Japanese stuff! The... Mangas, yes, that's it!" </b>
  <span>Mina continued to speak, under the gaze of Minhyuk. What did that mean?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  
  <b>-You... mean there's a Japanese man sitting somewhere alone?</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>-Yes! You should go see him! What if he doesn't know the language? You speak Japanese well to read that! Or at least know a few words, with all the animes you listen to!</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Minhyuk looked up to the sky. He only knew a few words, damn it. If the boy spoke Japanese, they would hardly understand each other. But under the insistent gaze of his sister, her smile and the </span>
  <em>
    <span>"You need more than two friends, Minhyuk!,"</span>
  </em>
  <span> He agreed. Mina pointed to the table before leaving to join her friends, a happy smile on her lips. Despite being sometimes annoying, she was a really nice girl and always wanted the best for her brother. Minhyuk couldn't help but smile.</span>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>"Hey Min, I'm sorry, me and Jooheon got stuck in detention at noon for running down the hall and knocking over a teacher. Besides, they gave us detention tonight! It's unfair."</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The blond man smiled even more, rolling his eyes fondly at the behavior of his best friends after reading the text Hyungwon sent him. They were so stupid sometimes, in the best way, and he knew he had nothing to do at this table then. He contemplated his choices; either stay alone and read or go see the scared-looking man sitting alone. He supposed he didn't have anything to lose, after all, as Jooheon and Hyungwon wouldn't come back. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Minhyuk indeed needed and wanted more than two friends, so he crossed the distance between their two tables.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Chapter 4</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Kihyun was seated at a table, eating his sandwich on his own. He felt a little anxious, and above all, alone. The first four hours had been rather easy since he was quite good at school, but long nonetheless. There had been a few mockeries, people pulling their eyes to imitate him telling him it was just a joke or imitating hentai... He hadn't cared too much, used to this genre of practices. He wished they would stop, but he knew they wouldn't; so Kihyun endured it and focused on his own things. As he ate, he felt the gaze of a young blonde girl on him. He didn't say anything and just looked at his dish, wondering why she was looking at him this way. Did he look funny or something?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A few minutes later, a voice appeared from behind him. </span>
  <b>"So, is this sandwich good?" </b>
  <span>Kihyun expected a mockery, but when he turned around he was faced with a rather handsome man. Tall, more than him(but that kind of easy), with short blonde hair and blue eyes like the ocean, with a smile so sweet he forgot how to talk properly. Minhyuk took a seat next to the young man, smiling with the most confidence he had even though he felt himself blushing inside. The boy was very cute as his sister said, with that long dark brown hair and his fine features. He could indeed be in a manga, or straight out of a vogue magazine.</span>
</p><p>
  <b>"It is okay? You understand me, right?"</b>
</p><p>
  <span>He asked, seeing that the brunet was not totally Japanese. Minhyuk thought that the boy was kind of adorable in his own way and confused.</span>
</p><p>
  <b>"Oh! Yes, yes... Sorry, I'm just a little ... nervous today," </b>
  <span>Kihyun answered, scratching the back of his neck nervously.  The big boy next to him was making him a little nervous, but he wasn't sure why. Maybe because he wasn't used to talking to new people like that, especially in Korean, and he hoped his Korean was good enough. He knew he sounded a little shaky…</span>
</p><p>
  <b>-It's your first day today, isn't it?</b>
</p><p>
  <span>Kihyun shyly nodded. The blond looked very nice, warm, and his aura gave off a comfortable vibe.</span>
</p><p>
  <b>-Anxious?</b>
</p><p>
  <b>-A little...</b>
</p><p>
  <span>The blond smiled, and Kihyun took the opportunity to look into his eyes. Captivating, warm-looking eyes. They were blue. Blue like…</span>
</p><p>
  <b>"Kaiyō,"</b>
  <span> he whispered.</span>
</p><p>
  <b>"Kaiyō?"</b>
  <span> The tall blond was a bit lost at first, not knowing what the other was referring to. Why was he talking about the ocean? </span>
</p><p>
  <b>"Oh, uh, that...That would suit you as, as a nickname...It means ocean in Japanese." </b>
  <span>The youngest looked shy, smiling a bit, and Minhyuk thought it was adorable. He knew people liked his eyes, they were a rare color for a Korean and he got many compliments for that. Yet, none made him smile like this one. It was cute. It made the said "Kaiyō" laugh a little.</span>
</p><p>
  <b>-It sounds good, my name is Minhyuk anyway.</b>
</p><p>
  <span>This is how the two started chatting all afternoon, happily.  Minhyuk, a little more confident, or at least, that's what it looked like, and his sidekick, timider, but they already formed a good team. Kihyun was very glad that he finally found a friend, knew that maybe this year wouldn't be as bad as he first thought.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Be alright</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>A friend was all Kihyun needed.</p><p>[All my titles are song titles]</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Chaos reigned in this small classroom on this September afternoon. Screams erupted, as well as whispers as the desperate professor tried to take attendance. The places had already been assigned and Kihyun had had the good surprise of being placed next to the boy he had met that very afternoon.  In the loud uproar, the mestizo and the blond-haired man exchanged a knowing smile, without even a word. They understood each other very well, it was like a kind of telepathy. That didn't stop them from throwing paper balls behind each other's heads, under their common laughter and their teacher's warning. Kihyun was however such a good and wise student in mathematics usually!  But he felt like this year was going to be a point of change for him. Such good grades he hoped for, but with a little distraction that would keep him from wanting to screw it all up the way he'd been craving lately. A friend was truly all he had been needed and for once, Kihyun didn't feel excluded from a classroom. Maybe the others were looking at him or them weird, but it didn't really matter when he and Minhyuk were having such a good time.  </span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Golden days</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Not an au revoir.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>The months passed, the years too, at lightning speed. The two young men did not let go of an inch during these 3 school years, still as complice. The house of one had also become the house of the other, their two families were so used to seeing them together. They did almost everything together;  Minhyuk had even sacrificed himself and had tasted the horrible Nattō to please his friend! And even though, most of the time, they were with their respective friends (Kihyun with Changkyun and Minhyuk with Hyungwon and Jooheon), whenever they could, they met again. Both were of great help to their sidekick; Kihyun helping Minhyuk to regain a taste for school and to be more comfortable and Minhyuk helping Kihyun to accept his foreign features and not to screw everything up. Minhyuk started having better grades, having fun at school, and Kihyun was finally having fun too. Letting go, living his life like a real teenager for the first time. Meeting each other had been a real deliverance for both boys, who could understand each other the best with only a simple smile. Like no one else could, they shared something.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Everything was going for the best until Kihyun learned that he would have to move far away for his graduate studies. He texted Minhyuk about it that night, devastated at having to leave everything, his friends and his girlfriend, even if he liked what he was going to do.  Minhyuk's only response was </span>
  <em>
    <span>"so let's make the most of this summer." </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And that's what they did. They did some bullshit that summer. Even a road trip in the small lost roads of Korea, swimming naked at midnight, drinking, going to parties... It was the best summer of Kihyun's life. And if he was unhappy to leave his girlfriend because a long-distance relationship was not possible... He did not feel the same when he saw his blond friend for the last time. He knew he should concentrate on studying and therefore not talk to Minhyuk for a while(he knew he wouldn't have the time), but anyway... He felt he was going to see him again. He felt it was not an au revoir. Their energy was too strong for it to be wasted. As he hugged the blond in his arms for the last time, Minhyuk whispered in his ear </span>
  <em>
    <span>"We'll see each other again soon, I'm sure."</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kihyun smiled. He believed in it.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I will dream of you, he thought</span>
  </em>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Stranger</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Time passed. The boys are bound to meet again.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>It was a few clicks that directed Minhyuk to his next convention's site. He had been invited to one because of his growing fanbase, which he was happy with, and was excited to meet other YouTubers.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Indeed, the young man became a YouTuber. At first, it was a past-time, something he enjoyed doing while trying to find a job in the modeling area. It didn't work that much, so he had his fun playing games and just casually vlogging. Minhyuk saw his community get bigger and bigger until he could finally live from it-It was something he was very glad of. He loved his work.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He thus checked the guests present and saw that he was at the same booth as a certain Wonho and one certain KiKi. He knew Hoseok well, who was a good friend of his, but not the said Kiki. Or at least, this name didn't tell him much. It brought Minhyuk to look for him in the youtube search bar and indeed came across a channel of the same name. A pretty (small) dark-haired man who spoke very interestingly about Japan and sang. He had a very sweet voice.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Minhyuk smiled and subscribed until he saw a notification popping up on his phone.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>New message from @yookihhh:</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>"Hey! I know we don't know each other, but I saw that we were sharing a booth at the *convention name* and I just wanted to make sure that you knew it and that everything was good with you?"</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Minhyuk smiled. He really looked forward to that convention, now, and could feel excitement bubble up in his chest.</span>
</p><p>
  <b>"Yes of course! I saw your name on the list. See you there, then!"</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The blonde was already looking forward to it.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Je rêve de nous</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Finally, they meet again.</p><p>(Je rêve de nous(french); I dream of us)</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Kihyun wandered quickly between the aisles, gasping. The race he had undertaken once he had noticed the late hour exhausted him. He was looking around for his stand, eyes wandering when a guy with really buff arms and figure, in general, caught his eyes. He immediately knew it was what he was searching for, and started walking to his stand with a hopeful smile. It was his first convention so he was kind of nervous.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Once behind, he squeezed Wonho's hand and greeted him, before a blond head loomed behind him with an enthusiastic smile. They shook hands and hugged each other with a smile. His eyes were still as blue, as captivating, and Kihyun had immediately known who it was before even checking up. He could recognize those orbs among a million others.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And that smile, the same knowing smile as back then. They knew but didn't say anything to each other. They didn't need it, words weren't necessary. They had never been between them, and the two boys just felt happy to see each other again. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>And even if they were on their side during the dedications, they chatted happily during the breaks. Just like strangers, but strangers weirdly warmed up to each other. Kihyun could feel shivers when Minhyuk gripped his shoulders as he laughed-An old habit he apparently didn't lose.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Then, at the end of the day, Kihyun would put on his coat, a little sad to have to leave, although he would be back the next day. It had been such a nice day, and even if Kihyun felt exhausted, it was a good kind of exhaustion. One that left him still shaking with adrenaline at the end of the day.</span>
</p><p>
  <b>-Damn, I'm stupid,</b>
  <span> exclaimed the blond, already dressed and also preparing to leave.</span>
</p><p>
  <b>"What?"</b>
  <span> Hoseok was next to them, looking at his friends with curious eyes. Kihyun thought that he was just as described; a real softie inside.</span>
</p><p>
  <b>-I haven't booked a hotel... Where am I sleeping tonight? In addition, it rains a lot!  I have nothing!</b>
</p><p>
  <span>Minhyuk looked alarmed, and the smallest man thought it was kind of funny, how forgetful he still was. Then, he imagined for a moment. His beautiful milky face soaked in rain. His hair sticking to his face… Pretty sexy as a sight, he thought before shaking his head to chase such thoughts away. It wasn't the place, the time, and the right person.</span>
</p><p>
  
  <b>"Do you want to sleep at my place?  I live nearby," </b>
  <span>offered Kihyun, grabbing his umbrella. Minhyuk wasn't particularly ashamed easily, and honestly, everything was better than sleeping in the soaked streets. Thus, he accepted with pleasure, thanking his friend a thousand times for his generosity; something Kihyun smiled at, saying it was nothing. This is how the two men swarmed in the cold of the night, greeting their friends one last time. And when Kihyun touched the metal of his umbrella, Minhyuk's fingers brushed against his.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. Amour solaire</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Nothing changed.</p><p>[Amour solaire(french); Sunny love]</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>An electric shock took place in the body of the two young men as their fingers touched the cold metal. Kihyun felt himself blush at the sensation and stared at the ground, holding the umbrella shakily.  Minhyuk put his hand on the hafu's ones and stabilized his fingers. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kihyun thus turned red and looked at his friend. The latter smiled, he had always had an effect that unsettled Kihyun, that made him stutter and blush for absolutely nothing, and this since their first meeting on the school benches. The brunet hated and loved this feeling of losing his means, he who was usually so confident. With Minhyuk, he had the impression that he didn't know anything anymore and forgot everything. It was crazy, this effect that persisted, even so, many years later. What he failed to realize, though, was how he could have the same effect on his friend too, in many ways.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The two boys entered the apartment, their hands parting then. The singer almost regretted the contact, and then blushed at the thought. Why did this thought about a simple friend took over him this way? </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Just a friend…</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>-</span>
  <b>Kihyun? Can I have a glass of water?</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Said Kihyun came out of his thoughts and went into the kitchen, bringing back a glass of water. It felt weird to bring him home, his own home, and to have someone sleepover. Someone other than Hyunwoo or Changkyun, that said.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>When Minhyuk took it, their fingers brushed again.</span>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>
  <b>-Thank you,</b>
  <span> said the blond with a smile that melted the brunet inside. He hadn't seen it since he was 18... 7 years without talking to him had been far too long and all those buried feelings seemed to resurface. And the simple thought of being 25 already was like a punch in the stomach. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Am I that old already? God, it feels like I was leaving him yesterday.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>-Man? Are you alright?</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The Korean man asked, looking at his friend with a concerned look on his face. Although he knew Kihyun's tendency to daydream, he couldn't but be worried each time that he did something wrong.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The brunet only nodded and pulled the blond to the sofa. Quickly, they exchanged a look, then burst out laughing at the same time. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They didn't lose any time and talked about everything and nothing, like in the good old days. They fell back into their old ways, and into the comfort, they got for each other. Not much had changed, and even if they didn't speak a word about their past, Kihyun knew Minhyuk remembered it all as good as him. The smiles they exchanged were proof of it.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. Donne-moi ton cœur</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>The thing that breaks it all.</p><p>[Donne-moi ton cœur(french);Give me your heart]</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>The summum of the tension between the mixed man and the Korean boy took place following a fanfiction video. After filming together more than once, their fans got heated and started "shipping them". It brought them to make a video about fanfictions.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The blond-haired boy slumped down on the sofa as he laughed, beer in hand, watching his friend put the camera away and then lean back against the table.</span>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>
  <b>"Damn, our fans are creative!" </b>
  <span>Minhyuk had that amused smile on his face, taking a sip of his drink. Meanwhile, Kihyun stared at his sidekick and the way his Adam's apple moved when he swallowed. He was feeling more thoughtful, in his world.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>"You're right…But they're talented." </b>
  <span>Kihyun had been feeling high and energetic while he was filming, which was usual for him. Yet, now, the high was slowly falling down and the smallest boy took a sip too. Minhyuk's bottle was almost finished, while Kihyun's was just started.</span>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>
  <b>-Kihyunnnn, you're all red! Look at you! Did it make you hot or something? Do you really want to take me in a jacuzzi?</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Something that happened in the fanfiction. Minhyuk laughed and Kihyun's face turned purple then, he tried to smile. Recently, the little one had realized his feelings for his longtime friend. 2 years had passed since their "meeting" at the convention, and they had been inseparable ever since. Not always together, of course, the elder spent a lot of time with Wonho... It put a hint of jealousy in Kihyun, but he tried not to think about it too much.  Because yes, the young man had realized the feelings he had towards Minhyuk. Or rather, had accepted them because he had had great difficulty in doing so. From now on, though, he accepted them since he could not stop thinking about the blonde, especially following this video that he had dreaded so much but had done to please the fan... And also to take advantage of the closeness with Minhyuk that he would have by doing it. He had been able to lift him, and stroke his cheeks without seeming suspicious. His skin was so soft!</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And, most importantly, how to not fall in love with such a beautiful human being? The one that had saved Kihyun's entire teenage years, had made him accept himself, and with whom he lived the best years of his life.</span>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>
  
  <b>-Bro? You okay? You know, this video, we didn't have to do it...I mean, I could go away if you want...I can call an Uber. I understand that it turns you off to imagine stuff too... Graphic with me! I mean... you're straight! And you have a girlfriend. Personally, it makes me rather laugh but if you feel uncomfortable and it was too much, tell me, okay?</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kihyun was obviously troubled, and his friend had been quick to notice it. He didn't want to make his friends uncomfortable, especially someone he was so close to. Even though Kihyun was more embarrassed than ever and had a hard time controlling his feelings, he didn't want Minhyuk to leave. He wanted him near and far at the same time. He was so afraid to explode, to reveal everything, and to ruin their relationship. He had seen his best friend a lot less lately and was rather distant because of his feelings. He couldn't say he was happy about it...</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The smaller one hadn't even brought up the subject of his breakup with the older boy. He began to bite his nails nervously;  what a bad idea it was to make this video!  Besides, Minhyuk's words had hurt him slightly, although the blond had nothing to do with it. It made him laugh... Obviously.  Their relationship was just a joke…</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>"Do you still want us to be friends? Or are you just like that because of work and our fans would suspect something's wrong if we don't do anything together anymore?" </b>
  <span>Minhyuk's face had fallen and seemed to be hurt by that conclusion. Yet, it was the only thing he could think about, with how distant his best friend had been lately.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Kihyun felt so stupid.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The blond had always been the one who, of the two, was the more vocal about his love for his friend. He was cuddly, saying that Kihyun was important to him, that he loved it...He was like that with everyone, after all; a generally affectionate person. Thus, it was not like the brunet had doubts. It was obvious that the distance that Kihyun had imposed for a few months between them would hurt him and that he would come to this conclusion! But he was so afraid to say anything... Was he going to escape and lose Minhyuk for good?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>"Kihyun?"</b>
  <span> That facial expression Sora was wearing... It was killing him. Seeing him sad was killing him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>-I'm sorry, I have to go to the bathroom, I think I drank too much,</b>
  <span> was the only thing that escaped the younger man's mouth as he walked quickly to the said bathroom. He locked the door and leaned against the door on the floor, tears in his eyes. A stingy lie, he thought, but bad nonetheless because he suspected Minhyuk would see-through. He missed so much those evenings in their teenage years where the two young men could be close, laughing and hugging each other. Without Kihyun feeling trapped by his own feelings. The times when he didn't feel the need to label everything when he just enjoyed what life gave him without wanting to do. Tears rolled down her cheeks. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>What was he going to do now? </span>
  </em>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0011"><h2>11. Pacman</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Poor Minhyukkie</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Minhyuk watched his dear friend go to his bathroom and rush into it before locking the door. The blond felt so confused.  What was happening to Kihyun?  He, who was so tactile and smiling during the video... After all, that's what he had been doing for months. Pretend for the camera, only then to be distant afterward.  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Minhyuk's mind was screaming at him to leave, that Kihyun just didn't want his presence anymore and that hurt him. He hated hurting people, especially Kihyun, who was so important to him. He could not bring himself to do so, however, seeing the discomfort that had seized his friend. He wanted answers and he couldn't leave it like this! So he waited a few minutes, to see if he came back. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Hearing no sound and seeing no sign of his possible return, he stood up and walked towards the door. He knocked there.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>-Kihyun, seriously, what's going on?  I'm here if you want, you know... I'm worried about you.</b>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>
  <span>Minhyuk's sweet words made the tears redoubled from behind the door. Silent tears that Minhyuk did not hear despite everything. A few minutes passed during which neither of them moved or talked.</span>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>
  <b>-Min, I'm okay! Go to the bedroom.  I'll join you, I just feel... Weird. It's alcohol.</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Minhyuk wanted to reply, to tell him that he had only taken a few sips... But who knew. Maybe he wasn't lying. Kihyun was taking medication, perhaps he had taken them with alcohol, which would cause discomfort? Or was it the tiredness accumulated by the young man, clearly demonstrated by those interminable circles under his eyes? Despite all his anxiety, Minhyuk resolved to obey and go to the bedroom. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He put on his pajamas and sat down on the bed, thinking about his relationship with the man he loved. About his repressed bisexuality. He wasn't ready to assume all of that, or even in front of an audience, but not being able to have Kihyun to him hurt him so much. He hated his own contradictions and his heart that clenched at the thought that this might be the last evening he would spend with his counterpart before being kicked out of his life for good. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He buried himself under the covers, hoping that Kihyun would return soon, surrounded by his scent. The blond fell asleep despite himself, in the satin sheets, alone. It wasn't until later that night that a small brunet took a seat beside him under the sheets, an arm he couldn't control wrapped around Minhyuk's waist. His head resting in the crook of the older's neck, as they used to do when younger. Their heartbeats in unison under the care of Morpheus, thus forgetting all their worries for a few hours. Until sunrise, at least.  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And the dark-haired man naively prayed that everything would be sorted out when he woke up, as if by magic. Unfortunately, this would not be the case.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0012"><h2>12. I swear not by the moon</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Minhyuk needs answers.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Minhyuk was the first to wake up that morning and found his friend clinging to his body, as always. Probably something that had happened in his sleep. He sighed and forced himself to let go of the brunette's embrace, staggering to the bathroom. It was 8:00 a.m. So early, but Minhyuk couldn't get any more sleep. He had stiffness in his back and in all his body. He desperately needed a shower to calm the whirlwind of his thoughts.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It was the reason he had shed a hug that he usually would have stayed in for hours, as long as he could. Yesterday had been hectic, he thought as he stepped into the shower and let the hot water run over his aching body.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He thought back to the way he had played the indifference card sometimes, pushing Kihyun's hands and feet away. Minhyuk knew for a fact that this was just a nice mockery, but if it was only for him, he would let the dark-haired man do whatever he wanted, seriously or not. Despite everything, he had still rejected some advances and had played the prudish by wanting to believe that it was only a stone.  That he would have liked this story to be true, for everything to be so simple, in a world where his feelings would be shared and where Kihyun's girlfriend would not exist. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Minhyuk leaned against the cold wall at the thought. He laughed bitterly at the simplicity of the thing. Kissing under a cherry tree, a petal falling in the hair of his "lover". Far too simple and beautiful to be true. Things weren't that simple in real life. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Minhyuk tried to forget those few kisses exchanged when he was younger, during a bottle or... For no reason, to test. The faded memories of a night spent in a tent on the rough ground, the temperature so high despite the fact that it was raining outside. These experiences made during this unforgettable summer, the sensation of his skin so soft and hairless, the friction of their bodies in the moonlight... The young Youtuber buried his head in the hollow of his hands.  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The memories seemed so far away but so close at the same time. The blond had been trying to drive them away for so many years. He had a headache from it;  or maybe it was due to the alcohol ingested. Then he began to think about how he and Kihyun were accomplices during their golden years. The shining eyes with which he looked at him when they were together, the way in which the stars and the moon illuminated the face of the younger guy that evening there in the back of the truck. This feeling of being one despite the thin centimeters that separated them, centimeters they crossed on the back seats in the darkness of the night.  This promise to never let go. Then, the present days, when Kihyun rejected his calls, texted him short answers and where they only met to shoot a few videos after which Minhyuk returned home empty-handed, or closed the door with a knot in his throat. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The worst was to see Kihyun, a few hours or a day later, in the company of Changkyun or Hyunwoo, laughing out loud, so accomplices, as they had once been before. It seemed that the brunette had forgotten all that, all this promise, letting Minhyuk fall deep. He was just a second plan if he was a plan, to begin with. It was killing him. He hated Hyunwoo and especially Changkyun for stealing the one he wanted so much without admitting it. Why were they entitled to the love of Kihyun? What had he done to be refused all contact with the one who was his best friend?  All that sadness, the one that had gnawed at him and sagged him for so long, it was turning into anger. The denial phase was long, but he couldn't take it anymore.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>No, Kihyun wouldn't do that! He's just busy</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Kihyun adores you, you know he would never let you down!</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>He remembers everything, stop worry Min, he must just be embarrassed!</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He clenched his fists, his heart raging against the smaller one. The latter knew how much he meant to Minhyuk (or well, almost), but he continued to play with his feelings, to be distant than to lie when we said a word to him. Let it be clear, for once!  If he no longer wanted Minhyuk in his life, let him say it, but stop beating around the bush! And even if the thought destroyed what little hope he had left, the blond was determined to leave the brunet's apartment with answers.  As defeatist as they were, maybe it would allow him to finally move on, he needed it. He hastily washed and dressed again, then went to the bedroom.  He shook his friend without gentleness, waking him up like this.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>-Get up, we have to talk. I'll prepare some eggs.</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>That dry tone echoed in the echo of the room, leaving a confused Kihyun who was staring at him. Minhyuk went to the kitchen, starting to cook the eggs. He would walk away with answers today, he knew that.</span>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0013"><h2>13. Love talk</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>The talk they needed.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Kihyun's eyes were immediately exposed to the harsh light of day, piercing his white curtains. The awakening had been rather rude, he thought as he sat up in bed and looked at the time.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>9:30 am?! What's wrong with him?!</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He told himself to himself as he put his feet down on the cold floor. He hoisted up to the sensation but hastened to get dressed and walk into the kitchen, a sweet scent of scrambled eggs tickling his nostrils. Minhyuk was usually not very imposing, although he was taller. Kihyun was more muscular and did not fear his sidekick, but his voice so firm and cold gave him chills. He was a little scared of the discussion to come, wasn't sure he wanted to say anything but he couldn't always cowardly run away from it all as he had for far too long. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He took a seat at the table, across from the blond. Right in front of him, the latter angrily attacked his egg on his plate while Kihyun ate more slowly and calmly, a little frightened by the behavior of his friend he had to admit.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <b>"Minh-" </b>
  <span>The brunette began, before getting cut off savagely.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>-What's wrong with me?! What is the problem?! Stop fucking lying, I'm sick of it!  You spend all your time with Changkyun. What am I, a filler?</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The blonde's voice was so loud he almost screamed, taking the brunet by surprise.  He had never seen his friend in such a state, as he was someone usually bubbly and joyful. And then... Why was he giving him a fit of jealousy? That was all? Just because he was spending more time with his dongsaeng? Kihyun expected much worse, which made him chuckle against his will.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>"Are you fucking laughing in my face right now??"</b>
</p><p>
  <span>Kihyun couldn't stop laughing even if he wanted to. Minhyuk was almost dark red with rage, seeing that as the ultimate </span>
  <em>
    <span>"fuck you" </span>
  </em>
  <span>Kihyun could give him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>"No! No I…" </b>
  <span>He laughed a little more and calmed down, Minhyuk's fierce blue gaze almost piercing holes through his skull. "</span>
  <b>No, not at all, I just wasn't expecting that... Min, come on, you know you're as important as him, you're my best friend!  We've known each other since we were 14. We have always been close and you know that you are important to me, I do not see why that would change." </b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It was the first time the two of them had discussed their past bond. Minhyuk clenched his fists, looking at his dish while swallowing with difficulty, which was hardly considered good. That wasn't the point. He didn't care that Kihyun spent time with Changkyun(or maybe he did), but what he minded was the change in his behavior.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>-You're always with him, and as for myself, you can't even talk to me!</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kihyun rolled his eyes, exasperated by the almost childish nature of this argument. He had to admit he wasn't always the most vocal and could be even quite nagging at times, but Minhyuk knew it was all love. He wasn't an asshole.</span>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>
  
  <b>-I was just as much with him before and you weren't complaining,</b>
  <span> Kihyun blurted out like a bomb. Minhyuk looked his counterpart in the eyes.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>"Oh yeah? Do you want to talk about what it was like before?" </b>
  <span>The older spat, looking aggressive and not in his usual mood. </span>
  <b>"Very good, let's talk about it!  Before, you looked at me!  I felt important. Because as far as I know, it wasn't Chang that you fucked in the backseat at night!  Today, what do we have, eh? Some pitiful videos where you can't even look at me in the eyes after?"</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It was the first time that one of them dared to approach clearly the acts that had happened between them, in a clear way.  Usually, it happened and neither of them spoke or alluded to it, although it was more likely to happen again the following evening. Kihyun's face collapsed.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>"E-Excuse-Me?" </b>
  <span>He stammered, feeling his hands start to shake.</span>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>
  <b>-Don't act like you don't know what I'm talking about! You know it as well as I do! Unless you really forgot and lied to me and told me you would never let me down! I was a game, uh? That's it? You couldn't care less about me, right? I gave you my fucking virginity, I gave you everything! My time, my heart, my attention! What more do you want?  My dignity?</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>As he was speaking, one tear or two slipped down his eyes, his breath ragged. The older boy looked </span>
  <em>
    <span>so </span>
  </em>
  <span>out of himself. Meanwhile, Kihyun felt his heart stop and clench painfully in his chest.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>No, no, don't say that. I don't wanna talk about it. No. Please.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  
  <b>-Y-You were a virgin?</b>
</p><p>
  <span>Kihyun couldn't answer much more, shocked with so much information he previously ignored. He felt bad now for having acted hastily, he who had treated Minhyuk in bed like another of his conquests (many at the time he had to admit). He could have never known how actually special it was to his friend, as they never talked about it. His heart was now pounding violently in his chest.</span>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>
  <b>"Yeah. Yeah. Obviously Kihyun. Do I need to remind you that I was not popular like you? That no girl or guy wanted me? That sometimes, people had fun by stealing my stuff, hitting me because I wasn't fighting back? But you, you don't know any of that, you were popular."</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>This sentence touched Kihyun in the heart. He was unaware of the bullying that Minhyuk had experienced, and although it pained him a lot, he suddenly felt a little rage. What did Minhyuk know?! Did he think Kihyun had it easy just because he suddenly had his puberty and was considered somewhat attractive? </span>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>
  <b>-What do you know, uh? You think I don't know what this is?! Who do you think I am?? A heartless fuckboy who likes to hurt people?!</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Minhyuk swallowed the knot in his throat, his wet eyes, and looked Kihyun straight in the eye. At this point, nothing even made sense in his head, and he could feel his heartbeat even in his veins, head throbbing with pain. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>-Yeah. This is what you have always been, Kihyun. I regret giving you everything. Or just giving you anything at all. And, meeting you, too.</b>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Kihyun received this like an arrow in the heart.</span>
  </em>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0014"><h2>14. Paper hearts</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Kihyun's eyes widened under this sentence that pierced his heart. Minhyuk, the man he loved, had just told him that he regretted their meeting. His breath became irregular and his eyes filled with water as his heart pounded in his chest, as if he wanted to extricate itself from his rib cage in such pain. He felt himself dying inside. As if time had just stopped.</span>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>
  <span>Silence invaded the room, Minhyuk's gaze fixed on his friend's face twisted with pain.  His breathing also quickened at the realization that he had a misstep. And a very big one. He regretted this sentence a lot, now, because it was obviously not true. Even if Kihyun were to punch him, he couldn't come close to hate him. Under the pain, though, Minhyuk lost his ability to think properly and let out those words thinking they wouldn't hurt Kihyun. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Of course, they would. You're such a fucking idiot, Minhyuk.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>"I'm so-"</b>
  <span> The blond began, to apologize, anxiously. He quickly got cut in a savage way by his sidekick. His small body was shaking in a way that had Minhyuk worried he might snap in half. This brought him to bite the insides of his cheeks harder than he ever did.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>"Go away,"</b>
  <span> was all Kihyun said to him angrily, curtly, his fists clenched and his lips trembling. It was almost as if he was controlling himself, and the older man wasn't sure if it was from crying or punching him. </span>
  <b>"Go away before I fucking destroy your face."</b>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>
  <span>The Japanese man gritted his teeth, looked angrier than ever, which was pretty scary. Minhyuk, shocked, contented himself with looking at his partner in a surprised manner. He knew he hurt him badly, and the realization had him frozen in place. He wanted to bang his head against a wall so hard, now.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>His non-reaction prompted the smaller one to stand up and grab his arm wildly, throwing him quickly outside. Once the door was locked, Kihyun dropped to the floor, shaking all over the place as he swallowed back tears. He had work to do though, even with his heart hurt. He couldn't see clearly.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Meanwhile, Minhyuk fell to the ground, thrown by Kihyun's sudden force. He felt the pouring rainfall on his slumped face, now preventing his tears from being made out.  Despite the pain spreading through his thorax, he knew he had deserved this present situation, his hair sticking to his face and his pajama pants becoming a sponge. And when he found the courage to stand up, legs trembling and heart pounding, he ran. Maybe to forget his pain, to hide from the water, or to give his heart a reason to beat so hard; but he ran home, the rain falling on him.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0015"><h2>15. You calling my name</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Kihyun truly can't help himself.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>A few months passed, during which neither of the boys spoke to each other. There was this tension in the air, even if they were all alone. Kihyun couldn't say he didn't feel absolutely horrible thinking about how much it seemed like he hurt his best friend in the past, but just thinking about the last sentence the latter told him was enough to make him cry. It was possibly the worst thing he ever heard, and he feared the blonde boy truly thought it.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Despite everything, Kihyun, one day, received a very special notification.</span>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>@go5rae mentioned you in a tweet</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Obviously, Kihyun almost had a heart attack at the vision of this pseudo. He felt like he hadn't heard of the boy in months, and the simple thought of it made him feel horribly wrong. Yet, he went to see what the tweet was about.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Ah, of course…</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Before the fanfiction video, a couple of days before, the two guys had filmed another video for Minhyuk's channel. One they had a lot of fun doing, and of course, wasting those rushes just because of a dumb conflict would be a waste of time. Minhyuk seemed to have edited it all and published it. While pretending that everything was fine between them, of course, as letting the truth come out would just put them in an unpleasant spotlight.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kihyun's heart sank, and he decided to go watch the video; he couldn't help it. He was probably a masochist for doing such a thing, but he always rewatched the videos he did and...Maybe seeing Minhyuk was something he missed, as much as it felt like a knife in his chest. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>So he looked at it with a lump in his throat, trying not to cry. He missed Minhyuk terribly, and to see himself with him, smiling and laughing, was torture. He had thought a lot about their whole relationship, about everything that had happened between them when they were younger. He had indeed acted like an asshole and hardly remembered their last fight, everything was a blur in his head, but he remembered the last words spoken by the bigger one. He bit his lip anxiously and picked up his phone, looking at the old texts exchanged with the man he loved.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Kihyunniiiie</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I'm coming </span>
  </em>
  <span>😁</span>
</p><p><em><span>I missed</span></em> <em><span>you</span></em><span> 😔</span></p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Can't wait to do not very Catholic things with you</span>
  </em>
  <span> 😏</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kihyun laughed a little. This habit his hyung had of always putting on an emoji at almost every text…</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The last ones they exchanged...</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>His fingers went to the call button. Even though he was more stressed than ever, he hoped Minhyuk would answer.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0016"><h2>16. Please, I don't want to scream</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Minhyuk's heart stop beating for the umpteenth time.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>The weeks that passed were, for Minhyuk, real torture. He had come home that day, drenched, and had to find his duplicate keys to get into his apartment. He regretted the sentence he had said to Kihyun so much! He didn't mean it. He would say anything when he was angry. It wasn't often that he was, therefore making him unable to control his reactions. He knew it was completely his fault, and Minhyuk felt eaten inside by it. It was like those words were taunting him, not letting him sleep at night.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Moreover, he had to edit the video that he and Kihyun had shot before the fanfiction one. Seeing him and above all, seeing himself again with Kihyun had hurt him but he had to do it. He could still remember his fingers twitching on the mouse as he cut the unimportant parts or those that contained inside jokes. Kihyun was so lovely when he smiled, it was killing Minhyuk inside and he had slept horribly since he started the editing.</span>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>
  <span>Once it was done, the blond man felt relieved and tweeted the video, as he always did, mentioning Kihyun. He hoped it wouldn't have a bad repercussion. What if Kihyun didn't want it online? Didn't want to have anything to do with him anymore, not even seeing his face? Minhyuk would understand, but he wouldn't say he would be pleased.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And, as he stressed, tweaking his own fingers, he heard his phone ring.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  
  <b>Incoming call</b>
</p><p>
  <span>🦈 </span>
  <em>
    <span>Kihyunnie</span>
  </em>
  <span> 🐹</span>
</p><p>
  
  <span>Accept</span>
  <span> or </span>
  <span>decline</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>That's it, thought Minhyuk, Kihyun is calling me to yell at me. Although he was worried about answering, what could he choose? He couldn't run away and ignore the boy; what was done was done and he had to take full responsibility for his acts. Whether it being the video or the sentence he said that he would never forgive himself for saying.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He answered.</span>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>
  <b>-Hey, I'm sorry I thought you wouldn't mind if I posted the video-</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>-Hyung, I'm sorry-What? Huh? But I don't care, I don't mind… I wasn't calling about that, </b>
  <span>the brunette said, his voice so soft reaching Minhyuk's ears. He had missed it more than anything. Only hearing it made Minhyuk's heart go the extra mile, breath picking up a bit because of the stress.</span>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>
  <b>"W-Well, I was saying...I...Can I come to your place? We need to talk, and I don't wanna do it over the phone…"</b>
  <span> Minhyuk was pretty sure his heart stopped beating at the very moment, every breath stolen from him. The reality of actually seeing Kihyun after all of this and arranging it all scared him deeply, more than anything, but the one of losing the boy he loved with all his heart was even worse. He thus quickly accepted, anxiety clear as a day in his voice.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>"I'm waiting for you,"</b>
  <span> he said, trembling a little at the thought of seeing his friend again.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0017"><h2>17. Viva la vida</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>The much awaited reunion.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>The car ride was the longest Kihyun had ever lived, trying to turn on the music so as not to think too much about his troubles.  He tried to be rational, not to be too anxious, but to no avail. How many months had passed? 3 months? It felt like an eternity.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>His fingers trembled slightly on the steering wheel, although he held it firmly because he didn't want an accident. It was time to be sincere with his friend, to confess everything to him... Maybe at the risk of losing him... Though what could be worse than the situation they were in? Probably not much.</span>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>
  <span>His thoughts were a whirlwind with no real meaning along the way. He finally arrived in front of the blonde's apartment and got out of his car, not knowing where to turn.  He rang at the door. Kihyun's fingers were shaking along with the rest of his body.</span>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>
  <b>'Hey," </b>
  <span>opened the blonde, his hair in disarray. He had visibly dozed off during Kihyun's long journey; an hour because of traffic. Minhyuk was still extremely cute, which made Kihyun smile. He truly couldn't help his heart; it went crazy every time he saw his hyung, no matter what was happening. Minhyuk truly had the biggest grip on him, and he couldn't even escape. Not that he truly wanted to, anyway.</span>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>
  
  <b>-Hey, I missed you,</b>
  <span> couldn't help but say Kihyun, a half-smile on his face as he looked at his friend. He still felt anxious, but not angry or sad anymore. Just mainly...Honest. He wanted to free himself, and didn't want to hold a fake facade in front of his best friend anymore.</span>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>
  <span>"I missed you too," said Minhyuk after his heart stopped another time in his chest, and their bodies naturally joined in a hug that made the two boys shiver. How nice it was to be close to each other…. The warmth of a body against yours, the contact of the embrace that made their two hearts burn and beat so loud that they both could hear it.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Yet, the embrace had to finish, and once it was over and the door was closed, the two took their places on the sofa, feverishly.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>-I... I'm sorry,</b>
  <span> began Minhyuk, looking at his thighs which he scratched nervously.  Kihyun's hands grabbed his wrist and his eyes scanned the milky face of his sidekick. There wasn't anything else than pure honesty in those eyes, and Kihyun wanted to hug him again but knew it wasn't the time. Minhyuk obviously felt as horrible as he did.</span>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>
  <b>"Hey, it's ok. You weren't totally wrong, I was an asshole and I'm so sorry…You know you mean a lot to me. I understand if you really wish you hadn't met me." </b>
  <span>A sigh left Kihyun's lips after these words. He felt bad, and Minhyuk was just </span>
  <em>
    <span>so close. </span>
  </em>
  <span>He actually wanted to cry from how long it had been since they were last together.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>"It's okay, I was just... jealous. I didn't think what I said, not at all, and I fucking regret it actually. I can't make you share my feelings." </b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>At these words, Kihyun's brain shorted out. Jealous? Feelings? Minhyuk…Had feelings for him? What kind of?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kihyun truly felt like he couldn't breathe anymore, eyes blinking repeatedly. He was also sure his heart had never beat faster before, almost threatening to come out his chest.</span>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>
  <b>"Kihyun? I-I'm sorry, I understand if you want to keep your distance?" </b>
  <span>The blonde was shaking and more anxious than he had ever been in his whole life. What was Kihyun about to do? Hit him, insult him? It would almost be better than silence, after all. Although, he didn't want to lose his dongsaeng. </span>
  <em>
    <span>The thought was ripping his heart apart.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>-You too?!</b>
</p><p>
  <span>Kihyun suddenly went out of his torpor and jumped in joy, hugging his friend very tightly. He was smiling so hard, while Minhyuk was lost. He felt like his brain had turned into mush immediately after Kihyun had stepped in, and he couldn't think properly anymore.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>"Me also what?... I also want to take distances from you??" </b>
  <span>At that moment, the smaller guy honestly felt like crying. That was such a dumb thing to think about right now, yet the sight of Minhyuk being so lost was adorable and Kihyun was absolutely whipped for it. He felt as if he was on cloud nine.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>"No, pabo! I don't want that, I meant I have feelings for you too! Damn, I'm relieved, I was tired of keeping mine to myself!  You can't know how you make me feel better, man!" </b>
  <span> Kihyun let go of the blond, emitting a euphoric little laugh.  Minhyuk, his eyes widened. His brain stopped again, whole body rebooting. Wait what?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He was so lost his first reaction was frustration.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>-What?! Wait, I tortured myself for months and years for nothing when it was mutual? Goddamn!</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He looked a little angry and the brunette laughed at the reaction. He knew Minhyuk was also dying inside, his eyes slowly widening as if he just understood what the words truly meant. Everything was sinking in.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>-You're stupid, Min. I love you.</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Hearing it sincerely, after such revelations, brought tears to the latter's eyes. His lips began to tremble as did his whole body.  Tears rolled down his cheeks and Kihyun's face collapsed in fear. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Had he hurt the older?? Oh no, oh god no.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>-M-Minhyuk?!</b>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>
  <b>"I love you too," </b>
  <span>he said, drying his tears, and gave a radiant smile that made Kihyun sigh in relief and in turn display a smile. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>He was so smitten for that smile, god.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>As the two boys brought their faces closer and closer, Minhyuk's stomach growled.  They laughed, parting at the same time. There was nothing that could make them come down from their little own heaven that night, and just having each other close was enough.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>"I'm sorry, I haven't eaten today!"</b>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <b>"Me neither, pizza?"</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The younger man proposed with a smile on his face. His counterpart shared his smile. Eating sounded very good at the moment.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>-Pizza!</b>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0018"><h2>18. We must love</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>😏</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>The two boys ate their pizza, in sympathy and good humor, teasing each other as always. It felt good, amazing even, to be again in this comfort that they were both used to. They even fed each other and ended the evening watching "a silent voice" again, entwined. In the end, Minhyuk was wiping his tears in Kihyun's t-shirt, who was laughing fondly at the sight of his emotional boyfriend. After a few complaints from Minhyuk (</span>
  <b>"it's a very emotional movie and-Kihyun, stop laughing or I'm sulking for the rest of the evening!</b>
  <span>), Kihyun went to the bed, accompanied by his partner. As the latter only put on a hood and underpants, the brunet took off his clothes to remain only underpants.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>"Wouldn't you want any clothes for tomorrow as w-" </b>
  <span>Minhyuk</span>
  <b>,</b>
  <span> as a normal human being, had in mind to finish his sentence. Yet, he was disturbed in his sight by the sight of Kihyun standing in all his (almost) naked glory, defined abs, and milky legs on display. After all, the younger did workout…</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kihyun knew his hyung had probably half of his clothes here, from how often he used to come and forget a t-shirt, some pants, or a hood here and there. Though, it wasn't what he had in mind to use.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>"It's okay, I'll take yours. Feel better. Oh, and by the way, you're drooling."</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Minhyuk, alarmed, quickly wiped the corners of his mouth.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>-I-No! No, I wasn't drooling... I-It was a hallucination!</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kihyun was convinced he had the most adorable boyfriend and laughed at his sentence. His heart was still beating loud in his chest.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>-Of course, darling,</b>
  <span> then replied the brunette, letting red appear on Minhyuk's face. He smiled greatly at the sight.</span>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>
  <b>"You're cute, baby,"</b>
  <span> he said, settling down next to Minhyuk, who was still red. As he tried to grasp on the fact that Kihyun had actually called him a pet name, his mind also caught on to what Kihyun said before. He said he would wear the blonde's clothes. Clothes that were obviously too big for him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Oh, he would be so cute! </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>"It's you who would be cute with my clothes…" </b>
  <span>He looked shy, a sight that the younger man didn't have often, so he grasped it and only hugged his boyfriend.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>-You are too cute!</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>-N-no! I-I am tall and scary and, uh... sexy…</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The taller boy was obviously trying to defend himself, and Kihyun felt himself smile at the sight. That's when an idea arose in his mind, and his smile curled into a slight smirk.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>"Ah yeah, sexy? Hmm, I think I need proof for that," </b>
  <span>Now, the singer's voice was deep, and he was approaching Minhyuk like a feline near its prey. His sidekick's face quickly turned as red as a tomato, was he imagining something dirty, or was that really what Kihyun was trying to say?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>-A-a proof?</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He was stammering, shy.  Kihyun laughed a little because he had to admit that was painfully adorable and almost innocent. Oh, he wanted to ruin him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>"You're really cute. It makes me want to eat you raw."</b>
</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
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